It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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