Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
