i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
