Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
