I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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