Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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