i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
