We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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