her vagine was all disorganized.
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.