he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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