My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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