He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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