Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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