you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
