Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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