oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
