I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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