why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
