We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Plural? Please tell.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand