He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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