dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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