Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i will never coherently bang her
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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