Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
