one might say we're banned from that church
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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