Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
