I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
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i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
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First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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