My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
my being single is dangerous.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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