is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
