Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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