Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
