I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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