there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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