And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We left an ass print on the piano.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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