You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
NoShamevember. You game?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
