i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
