i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
