After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
