he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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