I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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