Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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