THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
