He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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