you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
