I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize