he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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