new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
