Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize