we're chasing vodka with high fives
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
