All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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