come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
is that a dick in a sweater?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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