I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
