in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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