Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
