I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
