i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
