does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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