Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i think we sleep fucked last night...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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