I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
