I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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